The Pnakotic Cocktail Napkin

The Japanese are Completely Insane

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:29:58 GMT

This is Tama, a 9 year old Calico cat. She is the Station Master of Kishi Station in Kinokawa, Wakayama Prefecture, Japan. The Station Master's primary duty is to greet passengers as they exit their train; Tama apparently does this very well. So well, in fact, that the officals of the Wakayama Electric Railway company decided to give her a further promotion to Super Station Master, a job complete with her own office (a converted ticket booth where she sleeps), and a staff of two more cats. It is important to point out that with this promotion, Tama is now the only female in the company in a managerial position.

Yeah. Wrap your mind around that little tidbit.

Observations After a Year Apart

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 10:21:55 GMT

1. You were one of the few things that I had ever wanted for myself. Selfish? Perhaps, but sometimes you have to be.

2. You didn't make me happy. You made me remember what it was like to be happy, and how to be happy again. And for that, I will always be grateful.

3. I'd like to think I was a better person when I was with you, or that I at least strove to be. I'd like to think that, but I'm not sure it's true.

4. It's hard to date other people; I keep waiting for that spark I felt with you. It never comes.

5. It hurts that we're not as close as we used to be; there's a void that I've yet to fill. I suppose it was unavoidable, but it still sucks.

6. It's still hard not to say something stupid around you. I wonder if that will ever change; I'm filling up with what I cannot say.

7. Part of me always knew that our time together would have an expiration date. I wish that it was longer, but I will always treasure the time we had.

8. Sometimes, late at night, I still miss the way you'd cuddle next to me for warmth and security. I especially miss the satisfied sigh you'd make when you got comfortable.

This Just In...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:19:38 GMT

I miss my mustache. That is all...thank you.

Bachelor Chow

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:55:12 GMT

Nothing quite like genuine instant Chow Mein Noodles, made in Mexico. Still, for 99 cents, it's pretty good.

It's About Freakin' Time...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sat, 31 May 2008 08:11:39 GMT

The Gamers: Dorkness Rising will be released this year at Gen Con. That's right. two short months away and we can all see the sequel. Yay!

Yes, I would in fact Jump off a Bridge Too...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Wed, 14 May 2008 07:14:40 GMT

You're on my friends list. I'd like to know 26 things about you. Just copy and hit reply and paste in the comments section with answers. Thanks! You'll be surprised how much you didn't know about your friends after this! Then copy the meme and see if anyone answers you.

1. Do you have a tattoo?
2. How old are you?
3. Are you single or taken?
4. Fish?
5. Do you dream in color?
6. Ever seen a corpse?
7. Hipsters or Hillbillies?
8. How did we meet?
9. What's your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be?
11. Do you trust the police?
12. Do you like musicals?
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. Would you cheat ?
16. What are you wearing?
17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. What's your favorite day of the week?
22. What's your favorite color?
23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
25. What was your first impression of me?
26. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Games Journal

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:41:44 GMT

I've decided to keep a journal of the Sessions I run, so if you guys like, you can read it to remember what we did in the previous session. Here's the address:

http://kingofcatsgames.livejournal.com/

And now for you viewing pleasure...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 08:16:41 GMT

Went to Loki's birthday party tonight at the Golden China Restaurant. They do karaoke, and this was the song I chose (I also picked Piano Man, but we left before I had a chance to). It is in no way a reflection of my feelings towards anyone; it just makes me giggle.

One More Minute--Weird Al Yankovic
(constant "doo wop"s in the background throughout the song)

Aahh....

Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin')
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die
Than spend one more minute with you

Memorial for the King of All Geeks

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:41:00 GMT

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Females: A Strange, Fascinating Creature.

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:31:59 GMT

My brother found this on one of the weird news sites he reads. It's from a 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. I know you'll love it.

“Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.”

Overkill--Men at Work

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 11:46:20 GMT

Love this song

Overkill--Men at Work

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perahaps its just my imagination

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night my heartbeat, shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lcu7OCIqlqE

Well that's just Fuckng Great.

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:11:34 GMT

First my cell goes all wonky on me, so I don't have access to it (yes, I know part of the time was because I didn't pay my bill on time. Shut up.) Now, my land line isn't working. We had a blackout earlier today, and now the unit won't reset. So now I don't have ANY phone.

More Browcoat Goodness

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:40:16 GMT

Another Firefly fan video, set to Bonnie Tyler's "I need a Hero"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mher704il6I

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 07:58:38 GMT

I've taken to sleeping on my couch in the living room the entire night. At first, it was for a couple of hours, then I'd move to my bed. This was because of all the nights I spent doing that same thing, more or less. Now, I think I do it because my bed still feels a little empty.

No. Empty isn't quite the right word. Too large? Yes, that's a bit more accurate. I was so accustomed to sharing a bed that now it feels like I have too much space, even though I don't own a double bed.

I miss that closeness; the warmth, the sweet scent of her hair, the curves of her body, the way it felt to be so near someone for so long. All of it, really.

A little something for the Browncoats out there

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 08:10:30 GMT

Someone posted this on the forums for a webcomic I read. You should listen: it's shiny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4gIcgXzsYk

I'm Feeling Sentimental Today...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 06:10:10 GMT

This is one of my favorite songs, for reasons that are between me and my memory.

The Moody Blues--Your Wildest Dreams

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Reflected in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you
Think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Once the world was new
Our bodies felt the morning dew
That greets the brand new day
We couldn't tear ourselves away
I wonder if you care
I wonder if you still remember
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are
Touched with sorrow
When the music plays
I hear the sound
I had to follow
Once upon a time
Once beneath the stars
The universe was ours
Love was all we knew
And all I knew was you
I wonder if you know
I wonder if you think about it
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are
Touched with sorrow
When the music plays
And when the music plays
I hear the sound
I had to follow
Once upon a time

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Mirrored in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you
Think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams
In your wildest dreams
In your wildest dreams

Whoops

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 00:55:16 GMT

Phone will be off for a couple of days, while I scrounge money to pay my bill. If you need to contact me, email and I'll send you my home number. If I don't pick up, it's probably because I'm screening the call, so leave a message.

It's Been About a Month and a Half

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 05:56:03 GMT

I have good days and bad. On the whole, I feel quite lonely, and a bit miserable, like there's a hole that needs to be filled, but won't be for a long, long time. I'm wracked with guilt, and paralyzed by fear. I'm terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing, and messing up the relationship we have now.

Yep. That's how things are going.

For anyone who wants a laugh

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 15:31:42 GMT

I found this guy's FanFiction.net profile, and have since read a few of his stories. You should too; each one is a masterpiece.

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1047027/squirrelkingsquirrelking

And as a Non-Sequitor

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 14:05:11 GMT

Three Manhattans (roughly nine shots), three hours of sleep and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows equals vivid Potterverse dreams. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Too Early...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 13:57:48 GMT

Saturdays are supposed to be my day off. I can sleep in (which is useful, considering I don't really sleep during the week), have a leisurely breakfast, and generally laze the day away. Except for today, when I'm up even earlier than I am during the week, and I'm not even getting paid for it. Add to that only three hours of sleep, and today is made of suck and fail.

Things I've noticed...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 06:11:44 GMT

Some things that I've discovered after this eventful week:

*My bed feels empty. Which is odd, considering I usually sleep there alone anyway
*My brother is a veritable fountain of support
*Four hours is now considered a full night's sleep for me
*I feel cold, all the time
*I have an ache that won't dull
*My eyes seem dull and empty

Comments screened on this one

I Likes me Some Geek Stuff...

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Tue, 29 May 2007 09:25:15 GMT

1. Post a list of twenty fandoms.
2. Have your friends guess your favorite character from each fandom.
3. When guessed, bold the fandom, put in brackets who got it and write a sentence explaining why you like the character/person you chose.

1. Star Wars (I'll accept two answers for this one)
2. Firefly--Wash/? (Again, two possible answers here, Mako got one. Only half answered, so it's only half bold) I like Wash, as much for his well developed sense of sarcasm and irony as I do for the plastic dinosaurs on his pilot's station.
3. Last Exile--Dio Eraclea (Spiderfaerie) Dio approaches life with a blind enthusiasm that I often wish I possessed. Granted, he does so out of abject terror of his sister, but that's hardly the point.
4. The Monkey Island Series
5. Dominic Deegan (a webcomic)
6. Fraggle Rock (and no, it's not the Doozers)
7. Labyrinth
8. The Grand Theft Auto Series
9. Futurama
10. Family Guy
11. Nightmare Before Christmas--Lock, Shock and Barrel (Mako) I consider these three to be one character, as they all have the same motivations and basic personality. But they're so cute in their tiny evilness...
12. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy--Ford Prefect (Spiderfaerie) Ford is representative of the sort of person I am; amiable, well prepared, and generally unfazed by the strange events occurring around him.
13. Chobits
14. Kill Bill
15. Sherman's Lagoon
16. Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
17. the Harry Potter Series
18. Reservoir Dogs (one more time, two possible answers)
19. Animaniacs
20. Return to Oz--Tik-Tok, the Royal Army of Oz (Spiderfaerie) Being a Steampunk/Clockpunk (the two are at times interchangeable) fan, it is only natural that Tik-Tok is my favorite character. The irony that he is the entire army of Oz, yet entirely dependent on others to keep him in fighting shape is very amusing to me.

I thought about including Sudeki, but I figured that one was far too obvious...

Cortex Wave 1

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 02:45:00 GMT

Here's the first one; I'm still working on characterization, in addition to getting the lingo of the 'Verse down

To: Cortex ID 0741263578 (Sara Worth; Newhall)

From: Cortex ID 3624179351 (Archibald Cavendish; Persephone)

Subject: New Opportunities

3 June 2514

Ni how, Sara.

It would appear my tenure aboard the Adventure Prize has come to an abrupt and cantankerous end on Whitefall. Kowalski decided that a thirty percent cut of my private ventures wasn’t enough to retain his complacency, so I found myself planetside with the Feds on my trail. I’m glad that bribing cops continues to be a time honoured tradition. Unfortunately, that tradition did not extend to my gorram trade goods, and I was forced to relinquish them.

So, here I am, home again. Vanessa was somewhat surprised to see me so soon, and unannounced. I think she had plans with her paramour that she was forced to quickly cancel. Affairs may be a fact of life among Persephone’s nobility, but discretion is a must. No matter. I’ve assured her that my time here will be brief, as a fresh business opportunity was awaiting my arrival.

Marcus Rayner, a friend from Elmira, looked me up; he’s looking to purchase a ship, and needs a crew to work it with him. He needs startup capital as well, but has made some sort of deal with a Nouveau riche Lord by the name of O’Shea. He’s offered to front some money for a ship, provided we do the occasional job for him. Marcus seems to be much more amiable towards my business, so I believe this will be an advantageous partnership.

Anyway, there’s a government auction on Boros in three days, and we’ll be heading there once Marcus has filled out the crew roster. I’ll wave once the auction is through. Give my love to Arry, and I hope to hear from you soon. Bao jone, bao bei.

Serenity RPG Posts

crow_malcolm@hotmail.com — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 02:16:09 GMT

Starting a new campaign has sparked my creative side, so I thought I'd make some IC posts about the game through my character. They will take the form of Cortex waves to my character's friend on Newhall, and while include events of the previous sessions, albeit from Archie's point of view (and bias). Hope you like them. If not, they'll be easy enough to skip over. You'll know which ones they are by the various Serenity icons I've added to my account.